Image by Pariah083, pixelio.de
Google recently announced that comments made on public Facebook pages will appear in search results all over the web (and the world)! While there are restrictions (thank god), it will hopefully lead to a more decent and respectful “commenting culture”!
Why am I saying this? I have noticed that there are increasing numbers of comments that are rude, nasty and offensive! Sure, it depends on the platform. LinkedIn groups seem to be more professional – yet at the same time the traffic there is not that high (at least not in the groups I have joined).
On XING (the European equivalent to LinkedIn), I have witnessed so-called discussions in professional groups with more than 70.000 members that made me blush – out of shame and anger! A member e.g. posted a serious question and asked the fellow members for help. Instead of catering to that particular question, others started to criticize the profile of the enquirer, the website, the business model, the personality, the life style etc. This was embarrassing and terrible!
I entered the discussion and ignored all the bulls***, writing a supportive and hopefully helpful answer by at the same time stating that I am not an expert in this particular field.
Guess what happened! Someone replied to my post telling me off and criticizing my suggestions! It did not bother me so much so I ignored it. However, I found it a pity that the person who had raised the question did not react to my reply at all, yet replied to all the others in an attempt to defend her personal situation! What a misuse of energy!
By the way, the people who commented that nastily had jobs like: coach, consultant, advisor, trainer etc. They all should know how to give feedback, shouldn’t they? Also, they most probably have joined the network as well as the group to sell their own services!
Would someone seriously consider doing business with a person like this?
So, what is it that differs a professional networker from a nasty one?
The pro knows when to shut up!
Here are 10 things that professional networkers do online:
- They read the post and ensure they understand it before they react.
- They make sure they know what they talk about.
- They reply to the question(s) rather than talking about themselves.
- They at least give one useful or helpful tip.
- They use positive language that makes other people feel good.
- They NEVER bash other commentators or the enquirer.
- They use common feedback rules and consider the feelings of others.
- They rather ask questions than making statements.
- They protect their updates and profiles (if possible) in order to avoid public appearance on the web.
- They think twice before commenting and decide to be quiet more often than to talk.
Have you experienced similar situations online? How did that make you feel? What tips do you have to avoid those situations?
Share your view in the comments! Thank you.
Since the age of 5, Gaby Feile has been fascinated by words. Today, she is an internationally experienced communication expert who creates memorable moments through authentic communication.
She is creator and owner of Kommboutique and has designed the position of Chief Communication Stylist for herself.
Dear Urs,
Welcome back, you are the most regular contributor here!
Thanks for your helpful tips and thoughts. As we discussed before, many people believe that networking means being present on many platforms, being a member of many groups, have a huge number of contacts/fans/followers etc.
The internet has opened the door to this. When we think back to pre-internet times, networking meant: becoming a member of a few clubs, going to events, talking to people and get information, new contacts and business. It simply was not possible timewise to be an active member of numerous clubs and networks.
What would happen if we did the same online? Would we miss out on something? Or would the results be at least the same or even better? And would everyone be more relaxed?
I guess we need to “blame” the group founders as well as many of them look for quantity rather than quality. If I received 1 EUR for each group I get invited to on XING, I would have earned a decent amount
. LinkedIn seems to be less annoying – at least in my case.
You know when people invite me to their groups and I accept, I expect them to deliver and to be present. I am not joining groups to be the entertainer and main contributor. I join because I want something out of it: help, tips, suggestions, resources, meeting like-minded people etc.
Why would people found a group if they are not willing to moderate and lead it?
Cheers,
Gaby
PS: I agree with you that it is a personal decision if people protect their social media profiles.
Gaby , very interesting post this is and I commented on your blog as well, of course. My thoughts about these tips are listed below.
G.F. wrote:
> Inspired by personal experiences on XING!
> What is it that differs a professional networker from a nasty one?
> They reply to the question(s) rather than talking about themselves.
> They rather ask questions than making statements.
Gaby, I find the above two rules especially important. When I read them I thought this also means that you have to be around to ask questions or reply to questions. This is one of the challenges most networkers have yet to manage properly. Including some group members of ours it seems.
Just look at most person’s profile on Xing or anywhere else and you are surprised in how many groups they are member of. Just reading the content from 10 groups and answering 2 x somebody’s question each week…… Who has the time!
Incidentally, only when visiting a group regularly can you read what important things others have contributed and, thereby learn! Lurking is great except one forgets to read updates regularly and fails to keep up.
Finally, as a study by the NYT shows, people share to promote themselves so answering questions is just another way to promote one’s own brand, but in a positive way
===> http://www.flickr.com/photos/measure-for-impact/6108685264
Incidentally, responding 2 weeks after somebody has commented is not appropriate either if we consider Twitter, blogs, etc., as this example shows:
==> http://www.flickr.com/photos/measure-for-impact/6144250565
> They protect their updates and profiles (if possible) in order to
> avoid public appearance on the web.
I am not sure if I agree with the above
but MY TIP WOULD BE:
===> if a post could embarrass, upset or not be appreciated/thought well off by your grand-mother, partner, children, boss, colleagues if they were to read it, do not write it.
This philosophy has helped me over the years. I find protecting my Xing entries or profile seems mute, since it restricts networking unnecessarily and once it is digitized, any content can be found as long as one tries hard enough.
Thanks so much for sharing.